Women

We talked about my recent issue at work. i thought she didnt want to talk about it - and truthfully, i am just freaking tired telling the story all over again, because y'see, it's like putting salt over the wound over and over again - but i was glad she asked. because she didnt even try to avoid the issue. she wanted to talk it over with me....  and i'm glad and blessed, to have a friend like that.

i did tell her that if i ever break down and go into the brink of depression, i would want her to slap me. really. i just couldn't bear to be this huge pain in the neck. i can be a pain in the neck, but i dont want to be the cause of pain to others. 

i wonder if it's because i have always felt all along that no one wants to listen to me. i am always the listener. playing the advisory role. my troubles are usually being swept under the carpet, for them to stew until they rot and eventually they just disappear along with the wind.

whatever it is, i felt better, but the hurt is still there - and will be there for a long while. a decision is to be made. the road to wellness is still far. 

i want to write that hurt is good because it will prod us to work harder to prove ourselves. but i've done that. been there, done that. and i guess my 'harder' is not their harder. in final analysis, i am just.... tired.

we also talked about the expectations that we women face in this world, when we went to the topic about friends who are not yet married. the societal pressure to be married at a certain age sometimes get to these women, even when they are better off with other aspects of their lives such as a thriving career life and being able to do the things only single women could do like travel at a moment's notice or dressing the way they want without their partners disapproving. :)

women face a lot of pressure nowadays (men would counter that they also face the same). but forgive me for saying, men are more likely pass the pressure of being married to their spouses. women still need to work when they come back from work. men have it easy. the king of the house as he is largely known in every society. nevertheless, the kings should also realise that their queens are also supporting the household as well.